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Endless circlesI've been running in circles not knowing what to do
Searching yet scared to find a clue.
Getting nothing done just endless sailing
Trying yet giving up afraid of failing.
How many times have I ran away
Knowing yet petrified of what people would say?
I've tried countless of times to go on forward at a slow pace
Fighting yet frozen into place.
But where can I find the courage to keep on going
Without a twist or turn to were the river is flowing?
My mazeConfused feelings overwhelm me,
Yet I don't dare to ask for explanations.
As time goes by my thoughts begin to play,
Showing more and more possibilities
Good and bad, happy and sad,
Still I'm eager to know which one is correct.
Hoping time will show me the answers
Waiting for the pieces to play out.
Endless waiting, with no result,
Only giving me more questions .
My mind is a maze and I can't find the end,
This time consuming game is eating me from the inside
Though there are moments when I seem to free,
When I see a little logic in what I might be thinking.
And those moments get me through the day.
ForgetingI'm waiting, just waiting,
until my thoughts are fading,
into the starry sky,
time slowly passing by.
Faraway my thoughts will go,
and no one who will ever know,
that I was even gone,
though my silences are long...
Only few will see,
that at those times I'm not really me,
but please when you do, let me be,
because at those times I can't face reality...
Loving you from afarI love you from afar, because I'm afraid you would never love me back
My thoughts tell me someone else is more worthy of your love.
So I'll witness you falling in love with someone else.
Then at some point I'll move on and find someone else to admire from afar
And that's how it will ever go on.
LIFELife isn't always as hard as it may seem
Spread your arms, lift your head and just scream.
Now open your mind; let it be free.
Don't let life shape you, but shape life how you want it to be.
Mistakes are to learn from and then to move on.
Not to get caught up in and wish you were gone.
It's hard, it's cruel, it's beautiful,embrace it
I want to....I want to fly to a place unknown
I want to let my worries go
I want to be less shy
I want to touch the sky
I want to catch a star
I want to take your hand in mine
I want to make your wish come true
And that is all I want to do
Part 1Life is a rollercoaster it goes up and down and up and down, and again and again and again. I know. And when it all goes down, you need someone to pull you up. That happened to me, I thought I was all alone, but far away there was some kind of hope. Well not just any kind, it was Jasper who helped me. I never thought he could be so kind hearted, he came to me when no one would, he offered me help when all the others walked away. He's like a brother to me now, we tell each other everything, except secrets of others because those are not ours to tell, and we have a lot in common. No, we can't see each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, more as best friends or brother and sister. I don't know why, but that's how it is. A few weeks ago we had a sleepover at my house, just the two of us and his sister, Daisy. When Daisy left the room, he told me he was completely head over heels for a girl in our class. (Of course he told me who, but that's a secret to you.) At first I laughed, I
The colors on my blank canvasOn my pallet I have some white, yellow, red and blue, but I don't know what to make.
I'll paint my background yellow, because it's light and bright.
And on that yellow canvas I'll make a vase with red.
How about I mix some yellow with some red, I will use the orange in the vase for details.
And then I'll mix the yellow with the blue, the green I'll get will become stems for the flowers that I'll make.
Some purple I'll get by mixing blue with red, will become the flowers itself.
Then I'll use some white to make it all look more real.
The only thing I need to do now, is sign it and I'm done.
The beachI'm sitting on the beach, looking at the bright shining sun.
Getting sleepy by looking to long at the sparkling surface of the ocean.
Looking up once in a while to answer a question or say something completely meaningless.
Well, completely meaningless I wouldn't say, it has some sort of meaning of course.
Saying to myself that I think to much, but there is nothing that I can do about it.
Drifting off into my memories or thinking about what the future could have in store for me.
But then I remind myself to go back to what is now, because we're going back home.
You're worth so much moreShe was the type
to cut her wrists,
and then swallow the
because looking at what
was even harder
but I want to tell her
to let the emotions
p i l
out of her mouth,
instead of her
and that I'll gladly
let the words slice me,
if it means
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
AnxietyAnxiety tapping on my door,
"Can I come inside your head?"
I shiver, not ready for its visit.
It charges in, smelling of worry.
Spends a morning, afternoon and night,
playing with my emotions.
A marionette dancing its old tune on rough strings.
Leaves me winded and praying to beat it the next time.
I miss youYou are a ghost in my head
Living, yet you haunt my thoughts today
To speak your name
Would be to desecrate this space
Where you are, I should not care to know
But you are a never-healing wound
An unfulfilled promise
A chance to do no wrong
My memories burn with your taste, your touch, your smell
Who have I become?
Too long have the years been to me
To find myself wishing for the crossroads
For the chance to say no, one more time.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
Memories.......My memories......Lost, broken and faded away.......
Time stands still.......Who am I?........What happened?.......Something's gone...
Can't remember........Someone Help ME!!!.........
The room is spinning.......A hand........A face.......Whose?.......
Frustration, agony and fear........
It stops........A hand, a face. Not mine......Who are you?.......
I can't remember........Do I know you?.....You smile.....
A touch.....You take my hand.......We walk away........
Safety, happiness and love.....
I smile back........With you I'll stay.....
Parenting for Sex AddictsThe half-day.
We are not those folks that need an occasion to try. And that’s what they call it, too. Trying. As if the very idea of it is taxing. It’s not taxing and we are not those people.
No. We do not go by some magical calendar. Schedules aren’t really our thing in general. That’d be too organized. Too stuffy. Too… I don’t know… too planned. And we’re not the type of people whom plan.
If we could—plan—our lives would be much different. I think. It’s hard to say because this is how we’ve always been.
Our very togetherness is a result of impulse. I’m almost certain that the amount of time it took us to decide to move in together was significantly shorter than the amount of time it took us to remember each other’s names. We might have had our first conversation moments after that first… what I mean to say is we didn’t plan. Because planning would have been much t
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More